There comes a time in one’s life when you got to sit down and reflect on where you are where you’ve been and where you want to be. I feel that I am at that time in my life right now, and I am really not sure what to make of things. I have a lot of people that care about me at least I think I do, but I continually stay down on myself and this makes it hard for me to do things I would like to do in life, this seems to be the same for me in second life. I have a wonderful wife, she loves me with all her heart as I do her, but for some reason we can never be happy at the same time in SL. I don’t know what happens or why but it always seems that when things are going good for one of us they are not for the other . We have both been here for a while now and have been through a hell of a lot together.. She has always been right there for me and I try to be for her we have a deep loving relationship that began in grade school in real life and has carried over to SL. Here we can be and do all the things we cannot do in real life so at times it’s a good outlet for that she is my wife in SL and my best friend in the real world and I am truly blessed to have her in both. I only wish we could figure out why the SL gods have decided that we can not both have all we want and be happy at the same time. I pray we can figure this one out.  

Yar Telling: My Mistress in SL is one of the most loving and caring people I have ever met and I love her deeply we have been friends for a long time and I took her collar over 8 months ago still cant believe its been that long as time just seems to fly. Her and I have had our share of problems in the past but have worked those out. But I find now as I reflect on my life, that I am not sure of what I should do or how I should act, what I mean to say is I find myself getting tangled up in my own thoughts feelings and wants I get to focused on myself and what I want that I don’t really think about others at times, and those times seem to be happening more and more lately. I don’t know how to stop this I feel as though I am heading into a state of depression and I don’t like that feeling. But seems no matter what I do to stop what feels like a straight down spiral, nothing works. It is like being on a way too long roller coaster, I have been moody I have not been myself and to be honest I miss the person I once was. I miss being carefree I miss loving without thinking about it. I miss having fun all the time. I miss my life and I try and try to get back to being me and the longer I go on the harder it seems to get back to that ..,anyway I have kind of went off track here but I don’t really care, just letting myself ramble I guess ….any way I love you all until next time this is Nicki signing off ……………………………………………:)  



~ by Nicki Aker on July 1, 2010.

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